


Alfyn Suffers: The Game

by vinetini



Category: Octopath Traveler, Project Octopath Traveler (Video Game)
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Gen, M/M, My team of disasters and Alfyn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 09:09:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15288255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vinetini/pseuds/vinetini
Summary: Alfyn tries to be a good boy. It doesn't stick well with his three other 'friends' tailing behind him.





	Alfyn Suffers: The Game

"Oh boy I am so _ready_ to help everyone and end world hunger and pet some kittens and clothe the poor!" Alfyn cheered, an optimistic smile on his face.

"Gross dude" said Therion.

They'd entered into Goldshore, a fine looking town with welcoming townfolk and lovely scenery. Alfyn felt simply invigorated! He waved and smiled at the villages, happiness filling his big ol' heart.

"I'm going to go to the nearby cathedral and ask if they need any help" said Alfyn proudly.

"I'm going to go steal lol" said Therion, leaving.

"Therion NO"

"Therion yes"

The thief walked off, disappearing into the shadows. 

"Can't you stop him?" Alfyn asked H'aanit beseechingly, pointing towards the shadows.

"No" said H'aanit, indifferent. 

"Shucks, I don't get that guy! Why can't he be good?" Alfyn asked, depressed.

"But you see my young friend, being _'good'_ cannot be so easily defined! Why, the great Chief Wendell of one of the old Flatlands clans in 1602 committed genocide against the people of another clan in order to-"

Alfyn winced as Cyrus droned into one of his lectures, finger pointing up in the air as he prattled on about whoever the fuck he was talking about it.

"If thou does not wrap up thy speech in 2 minutes, thine hand will be missing from thy arm" H'aanit said.

"Princess Mary likes my lectures..." Cyrus frowned, dejected.

"Thou Princess matters not to me. Her silver spoon meaneth nothing to the laws of nature. She would be devoured in my forest before the next moon" H'aanit muttered.

"H'aanit please don't talk of royal figures dying in public" said Alfyn nervously, looking around. 

"Maketh me" she replied smugly, patting Linde who looked up at him with a derisive glare.

"I think I shall go talk to the villagers. I've heard some truly fascinating things in my time here already!" exclaimed Cyrus excitedly.

Alfyn smiled and nodded encouragingly at the other. He was glad one one of his new companions was enjoying Goldshore the right way.

"Hello, are you Mrs. Foxglove?" Cyrus said, approaching a pretty middle aged woman near the market.

"Why yes, I am! Why do you ask?" Mrs. Foxglove smiled, spinning her parasol and looking sweetly up at him. 

"Well I've investigated some rumours and I hear you're cheating on your husband, is that true?"

She screeched **"WHAT"** at the same time Alfyn yelled **"CYRUS"**.

"Well it's just I've been observing that you aren't wearing your ring today, as well as that dress being new. It seems you're trying to impress someone. On top of that, several villagers I conversed with informed me you were seen leaving your house at 1am every night-"

She backhanded him so hard he nearly fell over.

"Don't EVER talk to me again, you freak! And don't repeat what you said, either!" she shrieked, running off in anger.

Cyrus stumbled over to H'aanit, his lip bleeding.

"Why don't people want to hear the truth? he said sadly.

"That was most amusing" replied H'aanit.

 

Suddenly there was a ruckus from the east.

"GET HIM! GET THE THIEF!"

Alfyn whirled around in horror as he saw Therion sprinting towards them, something shiny in his hand and ten guards behind him.

"RUN NOW" Therion yelled

"THERRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOON" they cried as they all ran, stumbling through the sand and north to a hiding place behind a large collection of sea rock.

They all hid, watching wearily for the guards who stomped around and searched before giving up and returning to their posts.

"We just got here and you nearly got us kicked out!" Alfyn wailed, glaring at the other.

"Chill, OK? I brought you something good" the thief replied, bringing something out from under his scarf.

Alfyn stared at the shiny feather. He couldn't believe it!

"Is t-that? A feather from a Whisperwing?! They're used in all the greatest elixirs!"

"Yep so now you can make that one cure fix-all potion you were working on. You can thank me now."

"THANK YOU THANK YOU!" Alfyn cried out, jumping into the other's arms teary eyed and clutching at his scarf.

"I changed my mind please stop" said Therion.

"What a beautiful friendship! I am moved beyond words!" Cyrus announced, wiping away a tear with a frilly handkerchief.

"I am impressed, Therion. I hath only encountered Whisperwings but a handful of times" H'aanit said with interest, looking at the feather.

"What are they like?" Cyrus inquired, eyes brightening at the arrival of new knowledge.

"Large, with claws of most dreadful steele. Thine claws can leave over a thousand scratches on one's back if not careful."

"Sounds like my ex-boyfriend" said Therion

"NICE one my boy" Cyrus laughed, going in for a high five.

Their hands connected, but did not pull away. Sparks flew in the air. Therion slowly wrapped his hand around the other as they stared into each other's eyes.

 

"I've never noticed how beautiful your eyes are, my boy" Cyrus said lovingly.

Linde made a gagging noise.

"Isn't he a little too old for you? And do you have to do this here?!" Alfyn asked Therion, disbelieving. 

"He's not that old and I've fucked in a rock cave before" said Therion

"NICE one again my boy" said Cyrus and they high fived once more as H'aanit stared stonefaced. 

Alfyn wanted to cry and die.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> pray for my boy alfyn


End file.
